I was going to do several things today, including write a bit about skate parks in the fifth and sixth grade. I didn’t do any of the things on my list. Instead, I did the things that “came up.” This often means ‘the things on someone else’s list’ but that isn’t exactly right, because sometimes, too, it mean’s ‘the things that were added to my list by life.’
My patience level has been at a negative number today, and I don’t know how to effectively communicate it, and as a result, I’m just bitchy. Because I had a list of stuff to do, and instead I did other things, I moved through the day in a state of low-grade frustration. If I could use my time more effectively, then distractions probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but instead, small things derail me for the whole dumb day. It’s just life, I guess. It’s just the difference between desire and loss–a liminal place of neither met nor dashed hopes. Like traffic, or a pile of dishes, or a stack of forms to complete, or three disparate errands, each on a different side of town, all with a wait.
In other news, I went on a long walk and saw a bald eagle and some mourning doves, and rediscovered the early spring color of camellias. I also gave a neighbor a ton of moving boxes and packing supplies, which cleared out a lot of space and also helped someone else, so the day wasn’t terrible.